Always Winter

I've been waiting so long for this day. The very first day of spring. The day when the world would be fresh and warm and new things would grow. The day that welcomes back the birds and buds and blossoms. The mere thought of it is enough to make me want to frolic and dance. I was counting down the days, and eagerly anticipating this day, when a creeping realization came back to me. "Wait a second, I live in Canada. Spring never comes this early." Never has, never will.

I don't usually have this heartache. Most years I remind myself over and over that I can't expect it until at least the end of May. That way I can avoid the ridiculous song and dance that people go through each spring, hoping for warm weather every day, and being crushed when the blanket of snow falls. For some reason this year has been different, though.

I think I can safely blame this one on Nicaragua. When my brother and I both had a week off school, my family visited Nicaragua, to scope it out and see what it will be like to live there. It was wonderful! And beautifully warm. So we all got used to the t-shirt and shorts weather, to seeing green grass and flowers, then we had to retreat back to the snowy prison.

Our winters are too long here, and they drain us of our energy and enthusiasm all too quickly. It's enough to make tears squeeze out of my painfully dried out eyes.

Now I'm not usually one to complain. Okay, maybe I am, but this is serious stuff! It's frightening when you can't find inspiration and beauty anywhere but photographs. I keep imagining Nicaragua, and how my old house used to look in the summertime. There was a giant crabapple tree outside my parents room windows that was breathtaking when it was covered in pink and white blossoms! And I grew strawberries and tomatoes and sunflowers and rhubarb. Our acreage was a perfect haven.

Now, we live in a townhouse, and the view out my window has changed from lilac bushes to a half built garage. This may seem like a small burden to have, and maybe it is, but it weighs on my heart.

The wonderful thing about God, is that no matter how insignificant the hardship may seem to those around me, He knows how I feel and what I personally long for. He cares about the wars and famines of the world and He cares about the dirt on my window pane. That is part of the reason I love Him so much! <3

~Brie